My husband told me that if it wasn’t for sex, men wouldn’t work lol. That everything men do is so that they can get the “prize” at the end of the day. He stated very clearly that women are attached to sex and that is part of what makes us invaluable to a man. He says that we have no idea how important sex is to society. Obviously sex alone does not drive a man to marry. But once he is married, it is one the major events he looks forward to with the woman he loves.

Sex in marriage is the highest level of intimacy you can have with your spouse and God. We tend not to think of God when thinking of sex. But marital sex should definitely NOT be a taboo. This is welcomed and encouraged by Christ. The book of 1 Corinthians reads

“The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer.”

1 Corinthians 7: 3-5

With this being said, why aren’t we putting our spouse’s sexual needs at the top of the list? I find that at the end of the night it’s sometimes the last thing that I am thinking about. On the other hand, no matter how exhausting the day may have been for Jeff, sex is still prominent on his mind at the end of the night. But the bible is clear on this. Your body is for your husband and a husband’s body for his wife. It has been ordained by God and we ought to give ourselves freely to the other. It is meant for us to find enjoyment and fulfillment in doing so. When we don’t fulfill each others needs, it leaves room for temptation and lust.

So how does the busy couple actually prioritize sex?

• Set a sex time. The later it gets the less likely you may be to want to engage in sexual activity especially if you have to be up the next morning. Aiming to be ready for sex at a certain time helps you manage your time better to fit it in.
• Plan it! Personally, this works for me. Jeff and I will talk about it early on so we can manage each other’s expectations for the night.
• Send flirty text messages while you’re at work. It gives you something to look forward to later on when you see each other.
• Initiate! Ladies can initiate too. Even though men are naturally the ‘hunters’ they want to know their wife wants them just as bad.
• Be spontaneous! Sex does not have to be at the end of your day. Wake up 15 min early and get him up with foreplay. Step in the shower with him and get frisky then. Whatever works for your schedule together, do it. Fit it in whenever you can and don’t let opposing schedules be a an excuse.

That physical connection to your spouse in marriage is priceless. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the daily routine that we often forget to take of each other. Always remember that your marriage comes first. Everything else will fall into place. Any day is a good day to start having more sex. Communicate with your spouse, pray, and start prioritizing intimacy and sex in your marriage.