Choosing a mate

When it comes to settling down, there is no such thing as the perfect partner. Jeff and I were on cloud nine when we first started dating and I swear we could do no wrong in each other’s eyes. However, when the honeymoon phase is over, you may start to realize that your ‘perfect’ partner is anything but. Or maybe you never had the butterflies in your stomach kind of start with the one you are with. How do you know if they are ‘the one’?

I strongly believe in the 80/20 rule. No one person will have 100% of what you are looking for. That’s just the reality. I knew that I wanted someone who would be open to christianity, who would be loyal/faithful, and who shared similar interest as me such as traveling and trying new things. I also wanted to be in the kind of relationship where my man puts me first. Yes, Jeff is all those things- but he’s still not perfect. There are definitely areas where I feel he could improve and he feels the same way about me. For instance, I feel that he can be more ambitious and motivated when it comes to his career and making money. He feels that I can be more kind and submissive as a wife. We work on those areas together as a couple. I realize that I have to push him more and he reminds me that I don’t have to be so aggressive when addressing his downfalls.

By no means should you feel as though you are literally ‘settling’ and giving up all your husband/wife ideals just to be with someone. If that person has most of what you are looking for and those things weigh heavily on your list of priorities then don’t miss out on the chance to spend your life with someone amazing. Beauty, youth, weight, style are all things that can change down the road. Does that person share your core values, morals, and life mission? Because those are the things that will get you through a lifetime together. At the end of the day, I know that I wouldn’t want to do this thing called life with anyone else but Jeff. Don’t choose someone that fits a resume but rather someone who has the building blocks that you can create your version of a good life with.

Choosing a mate ultimately comes down to what you value the most out of a partner. Try not to get caught up in having cute babies or in how much they earn. A cute baby isn’t going to feel that cute anymore if you are raising them by yourself and a high earning partner makes no difference if he/she is selfish. Happy dating and choose purposefully!