There’s always been a lot of talk about women submitting to their husbands. For a lot of people, when they think of submission, they think of being like a servant or a child to their spouse where they are to do what they are told. To be submissive literally means to be ready to conform to the authority or will of another. In marriage we should be ready to conform to each other and to the will of God.

I was raised to be strong, independent, and not to rely on anyone else for my needs. This meant going to school and getting a good career where I can take care of myself with no reliance on a man. When I was growing up I thought of having wealth and success and there was no man particularly in that picture. I figured that a husband would come when he comes. Now that I am married I have to understand that I am not in this by myself and that I can’t go around making decisions without considering my husband and visa versa. Being submissive means to trust the person you are with enough to allow them to lead.

The Bible on Submission

Putting God first in your marriage will only strengthen your bond as a couple. This involves turning to scripture and not always to friends and family on marital issues. What I found is that the bible is very clear on the topic of submission. Ephesians 5:22-24 reads 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. We see this again in the book of Corinthians 11:3 as it reads 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife[a] is her husband,[b] and the head of Christ is God. Husbands are to be submissive too. They are to submit themselves to God in order to lead effectively. A husband who thinks he will rule his family with an iron fist and that his wife ought to behave like one of the children is not a man acting in the favor of God. Do not confuse this with what the bible is saying about submission. Women should be submitting themselves to a praying husband and husbands should be submitted themselves at the foot of God.

Embracing Submission in Marriage

Being so independent and seeing my own mother lead in our household made it difficult for me to accept this concept of submission. I realize that I have to change my mindset about how I think of being submissive. It has nothing to do with who is the breadwinner but has everything to do with trust. Jeff and I talk about all our decisions and I allow him to make the final call for the family. He considers everything that the other has to say and it’s not him doing whatever he wants to do. Majority of the time I get my way anyway lol, but the fact that I step back and allow him to make that final call is what being ‘submissive’ is all about. I personally did not grow up this way and I did not have it modeled for me but I work on this everyday because I do believe it is the natural order of things. Jeff works on leading us in prayer and on his relationship with Christ. He understands that he needs to be aligned with God’s will for him as the leader and head of household. It’s a work in progress for both of us but the point is that we make the effort to have a happy, healthy, functional, and God filled household. And you should too.