R.E.S.P.E.C.T. – Find Out What It Means To Him!

Speak to him in his love language….respect. Men have a great need to feel respected. They can get it from you OR they can get if from work, church or other women. Since a man’s heart is where the respect is, would you ever want your husband to get the respect he craves from anywhere else but home?

Growing up without father really present at home I never learned what it really means to give respect to a man. I never liked being told what to do or feel like I am giving up my ‘power’ as an individual. I got confused with giving respect and allowing control. So what’s the difference?

Control is when is when your partner wants you do to what they say without regard to your feelings about it. Control is when you have no input and you are expected to do what you are told. Control is when there are repercussions (psychological or physical) for not doing what the other wants or for questioning them. Control is when the other person just doesn’t allow you to be yourself in the relationship.

Respect, on the other hand, is given mutually. One partner does not dominate the other but rather communicates openly, honestly, and kindly. Respect is gentle in nature and has nothing to do with giving up yourself in the process. Respect is being considerate and always taking into account how the other person may feel. Hmmm….when you think about it that way, why wouldn’t you want to give your spouse anything but the upmost respect every day!?!?

I used to battle with this all the time. Like, I don’t need him to do all this for me! But, men are built differently. Once you come to terms with that you change how you think about things. Remember, there’s a lot to gain from this for you too! A man will be so much happier at home with a women he feels respected by. You will get your way waaayyyy more often without trying hard lol. When Jeff and I first got married I constantly brought up his shortcomings, I caught attitudes when I didn’t agree with him and he better not be telling what to do! Haha. But I realized that you get so much more with sugar than with spice. And when I started showing him the respect he desired and deserved is when we got along a whole lot better.

Ways To Show Him Respect

  • Give him your undivided attention- Put the broom down, mute the t.v., put your phone away and talk/listen.
  • Don’t insult him- Even if your man has shortcomings, don’t keep throwing them in his face. Instead gently encourage him and focus on resolutions.
  • Praise & Acknowledge- This shows him that you appreciate what he is doing and makes him feel respected as the leader of the family.
  • Trust his decisions- Even if you don’t agree with him 100% try it his way. When you constantly question his ways, he may not feel respected as a man. It’s ok to have a plan B in your head in case his way does not work out lol.
  • Honor his wishes- If he prefers you wear silk slips to bed instead of pajamas- let him have that. Give in to him a little and let him know you are honoring him when you do.

Start re-evaluating how you handle your man now and be honest with yourself. Look at how you can start showing him a little bit more of the respect that he secretly craves oh so much and see how your marriage can flourish. As usual, we’re rooting for you!