Marriage isn’t easy. Motherhood isn’t easy. They pretty much go hand in hand and both require time, energy, patience, and most importantly- God. Balancing marriage & motherhood comes with lots of trial and error whether you are a first time mom or a fifth time mom. For us as women- it means meeting the varying needs of our family in different ways. And it could mean feeling like you are being stretched thin at times. That’s because being a wife and being a mom are both demanding relationships that require nurturing.

I quickly realized this during my 4th trimester. I was recovering physically from childbirth and adjusting to life with a newborn. I assumed that all the attention would be on me and the baby because..umm…I just gave birth to a new baby! But I was surprised to hear my husband -just two weeks after delivery -wanting time and attention. I was exhausted to say the least. And couldn’t fathom going back to anything near our pre-baby life anytime soon. Although he admired me as a mother to our daughter- he was craving me as a wife.

This has nothing to do with sexual needs. I was just so consumed with mothering that I wasn’t even giving him the basics. No cuddles at night. No random kisses. Not even a “how are you feeling?” I felt like all the attention should be on me because I did all the hard work of carrying our baby and delivering her. But even though my needs mattered (a lot) it didn’t mean that his needs didn’t.

When it comes to balancing marriage & motherhood it comes down to fulfilling needs. Meeting your children’s needs becomes second nature once they enter the world. But there is an adjustment that needs to take place in your marriage after children, and it takes a little more effort. As a first time mom, this was difficult for me to come to terms with initially. But we talk and pray about it constantly.

This isn’t about who comes first- the husband or the children. It’s about striking a balance between marriage & motherhood so that you keep a happy home. It’s always going to be worth any amount of work you put into your marriage. Afterall it’s how the kids got there in the first place! Always remember to put God first especially in those most frustrating moments you have with each other. As always, we’re rooting for you.