This is a topic Jeff and I discussed in the beginning of our relationship. From his point of view, any man who claims to just be seeking a friendship with a woman is just waiting for an opportunity to have more. From his perspective, men will usually play the ‘friend’ card long enough to bring the woman’s guards down, develop trust, & get to know her, then whenever the right moment appears he goes in for the kill. It doesn’t sound crazy at all but I have a different point of view. I’ve always felt that men and women can be friends regardless of status and not every man in the friend zone is just waiting to pounce on their female friend. Furthermore, it would be up to the woman to even allow such a pouncing to occur. Jeff’s argument to that is that once a woman’s guard is down she may allow things to go further than they would if he were a complete stranger.

Recently there has been a lot of talk regarding celebrity couple Will Smith and Jada Pickett-Smith. Jeff and I watched a red table talk where they discussed Jada’s extramarital relationship with artist August Salsina. Her relationship with August started off as a platonic friendship. He was in a broken place and she was the nurturing spirit and friend he needed. From there a romantic relationship developed when Will & Jada’s marriage got rocky.

In this case, a married woman had a male friend who she was able to quickly turn to when her marriage became rocky. This is not to say that she would not have found someone else during that time but the opportunity presented itself very conveniently in this case for her to develop that kind relationship. Even as naive as I can be sometimes, I can see how having and making new male friends can eventually create an increased chance of infidelity happening at some point.

Jeff and I agreed a while ago that any friend we have of the opposite sex should be introduced and should be around as part of group functions. Meaning no one on one hangouts for either of us with any opposite sex friends. This has nothing to do with trust- we trust each other very much. However, we don’t want to ever put ourselves in situations where anything can occur. It’s an agreement that we are both comfortable with and works for our marriage.

Whether or not you decide having male friends is ok or your husband having female friends is fine is completely up to you and your husband. Just be sure to never put yourself in potentially compromising positions and always put your spouse’s feelings of the matter first. As for Will & Jada- they are still together fighting for their marriage. But the point is to try and prevent these situations from happening in the first place. Always pray over your marriage and as usual- we’re rooting for you!