Division Of Labor: Old School vs New SChool

Women have come a long way from just being moms and housewives. Now in 2020, new data shows that millennial women are outnumbering men in the workforce and in higher level education. Women are now delaying childbirth and focusing on climbing the ladder in their careers. Women are trading in their aprons for diplomas and high level jobs. And I am one of them. I have been all about education and opportunity. And after a long day’s work, I also would like to come home to a home cooked meal. But now that both men and women are in the workforce, who should be responsible for taking care of the home?

Traditionally, the man is the provider, the breadwinner. Women would get married, get pregnant and stay home with the children, performing her work in the home. A woman’s work is traditionally seen as the laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, child care, accounting, and a vixen for her husband at night. We all know this antiquated, outdated view of a woman’s role. If this is your situation and you are happy with it- great! But with the majority of women now in the workforce, some things have to give.

The role of the woman has evolved. Although women are now seeking higher education and higher level jobs, the old school views of the women seems to have remained the same in the eyes of so many. We are praised for our movement in women’s rights and liberation, however we are still expected to be responsible for all the things that were traditionally a woman’s work. I find that many men love an ‘independent’ woman- one who makes her own money and supports herself. But they continue to expect things like a home cooked meal at the end of the workday, clean house, laundry done, ect. Is this a fair expectation?

If you really think about it, men have sort of become the beneficiaries here. If a woman is independent, that is less pressure on mankind to provide and support a family as he traditionally had to do. Men had to work hard because women did not work outside the home. Women are able to snag those higher level jobs because the men don’t seem as motivated as they used to be. But why should they be? They have women who are paying half the rent when once upon a time they would be solely responsible.

So now you have two working individuals who both come home wondering what’s for dinner. Is it fair that the expectation should be on the woman who worked equally hard as her husband to now stand over the stove and cook while he relaxes? I say absolutely not. It is completely reasonable for you to expect your husband to step it up in the housework department. It’s called 50/50. Although there is never a true 50/50 situation, both parties should hold their share of the responsibility in the home. If you cook, he can do the dishes. Maybe do laundry on a day when you are both available to fold the clothes. Have kids? Work together to pack their lunches and get them ready for bed.

The new school way is to divide the labor more evenly so that you both have a chance to relax after a long day or even a long week. As a woman, you should not have to feel guilty about not doing everything in the house. It takes two. And the old school mentality needs to evolve just as the role of women have. Men get help with the bills. Women should get help with the housework. It’s rather simple. But instead women are guilted for not keeping up with tasks that were traditionally her ‘job’ when she did not work outside the home.

It’s about helping each other so you can live your best life together. Pray that your husband will open his eyes and his heart to doing more around the house. And men should pray for their wives, that she doesn’t leave him because she’s burned out. (Just kidding!) But in all seriousness, it is about complimenting each other and doing what is necessary. If you both have an open mind and an open heart, you can adjust to any situation. You’re already doing a great job- you’re together! But if things can be more fair in your marriage, talk about it with a calm tone and stay in prayer. We’re rooting for you!