The Mom & Wife Juggling Act
The other day Jeff and I planned a stay at home date night! Yay! Kira had a play date that day and I was running to get everything in the house settled before he got home. That didn’t happen as planned. As a matter of fact, when he got in Kira was still finishing her dinner. No biggie since I felt it was still early. Well I proceeded with her nighttime routine but knew I still needed to order the food and take a shower as well. Yikes! According to Jeff I should have had all of the above done before 7pm so he can just plop on the couch and enjoy the evening together. That was clearly not the case and I swear sometimes I feel like I am failing at this whole mom & wife juggling act.
The way I see it, he could have jumped in at any time to help expedite the night. Instead he sat there bothered and hungry. I felt bad that I couldn’t get it together that night so we can finally have our time. But it is so much easier said than done. It is work being home all day with the baby. It is also work to create quality time with hubby. And it takes double effort just to have time for yourself! Then you also want to be there for your aging parents, family & close friends. It sometimes can feel like you’re being pulled in so many different directions.
I’m left feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the day! But honestly speaking, if there were more hours in the day it would probably only increase the amount of expectations others have of you. Would more time solve everything? No, it wouldn’t. I realized it is about prioritizing tasks at hand. When I look at that real life scenario above, I do see where I could have handled things differently. For starters- I could have asked for help! Yes, it can be frustrating to have to ask your spouse to pitch in but it is also necessary. Don’t hold back on asking!
I also realized that I didn’t prioritize date night that day. I had a lot of other running around to do with Kira which pushed back her nap time and in turn pushed back her dinner & bedtime. It was a domino effect. If I want to prioritize our time together as husband and wife I need to act accordingly. Which means sticking to the schedule when time together and intimacy are planned. As moms we can make a million excuses to push our spouses to the side and focus on the house being straightened up and the children. However, lasting marriages are those that continuously work on putting the marriage first.
Did we still have our date night that night? Yes, we did. We stayed up talking, laughing and enjoying our meal together. But we could have done so without the frustration and bickering that preceded it. No relationship is perfect and it is all about learning and growing along the way. Always put each other first and the rest will surely fall right into place.