I was 7 months postpartum when I found out I was pregnant again. I was surprised, nervous, happy & confused all at the same time. Although I always wanted more children, I found myself with feelings of guilt and even a bit of sadness. Not about the new pregnancy but for the closing of a chapter with my daughter and I. By the time she would be 15 months, she would no longer have 100% of me. But now I’ve come to realize that instead of taking something away from her, I gave her the most precious gift of all- a sibling. Growing your family from one to two children can potentially leave you with some of those same feelings. It’s a happy time but there may also be feelings of doubt, concern, and uncertainty about the new journey ahead. These feelings are perfectly normal and may exist initially for each new addition to your family. Here are some practical tips to help make the transition smoother.

Prepare Them For The Change

Although my daughter was very young, we told her over and over that she was going to be a big sister. I let her touch my growing belly and she would say ‘baby’. (She still calls him baby until this day!) We got her pretty excited about it. There are even some amazing books about becoming an older sibling that you can add to their reading list or bedtime story routine. This will be a big change for them too and they also need time to prepare for what’s coming. Children are so bright and consistently talking about the *exciting* new change should evoke some positive feelings about it.

Plan dedicated 1:1 Time

Change can be hard- even for the most excited soon to be big brother or sister. And the newborn phase is exhausting which means a lot less attentions for your older child. You may have elicited the help of grandparents or other family and friends which is great. However, if your child was accustomed to receiving most of their attention from you- they may notice the difference. I planned to spend 1 hour of dedicated time with just Kira (usually while the newborn napped in another room). It was just me and her like old times and I can tell that she really enjoyed it. Quite frankly, I really enjoyed it too. I would even send her dad away so it can really be just her and I. This was the most useful tip for us during the transition and if you don’t get anything from this blog remember this one! It made such a huge difference.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him -Psalm 127:3

Keep The Routine

Whatever schedule you had for your older child prior to the baby coming- keep it! It’s so important to keep their routines the same (as much as possible) even after baby gets here. There will already be a shift in the house during those early weeks, especially as mom recovers. Maintaining their schedule helps them know what to continue to expect out of their day and may decrease negative feelings about the baby’s new arrival.

Ask For Help

This may seem like a no brainer to some and for others- there may be reluctance. Remember that you will need to balance your newborn’s nocturnal sleep pattern with your older child’s regular daytime routine. Not to mention your own recovery which can vary depending on what type of birth and or complications you had. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or accept the help being offered even if it’s not your style. And if it’s feasible- plan to hire help in those first few months to make things easier on you. You can check out your local facebook groups or a website like care.com for options.

Overall, it has become such a joy to watch my two kids grow and interact with each other. Whether your children will have a large or small age gap there will still be a special bond between them that only siblings can have. We are never given anything that we can’t handle. Count your blessings- you got this!